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"Someday, son, all this will be yours"
World's Worst Farmer
Lewis Baumgartner
This first poem is titled, Old Bill.
I wrote this poem in 1986 and I think it is the only thing that I have done in every one of my shows since I began speaking in 1987.
Bill was a farmer that lived next to us when I was growing up. He had Farmall tractors and an old New Holland hay baler with a motor on it. He was an excellent mechanic and I thought he could fix anything. Back in the middle eighties I had a Farmall 350. I was out raking hay with it one day and I got to thinking about Bill and his old tractors and how much he meant to me when I was a kid. By the time I was finished raking the field, I had this poem pretty well worked out in my mind and I came in that night and wrote it down.
This poem seems to touch a lot of people and after nearly every performance someone will come up and tell me about their own Old Bill and ask for a copy. As I recite this poem in my program I can picture Bill in my mind and I never get tired of doing it. I think Bill would be proud.
Old Bill
I’m going to see Old Bill someday,
I always said,-- but never did.
Old Bill was the best pal I had,
When I was just a kid.
He used to tell me stories,
‘ Bout places near and far.
And Old Bill knew everything there was,
To know about a car.
And Old Bill always understood
When I talked of troubles that I had,
And I’d tell things to Bill,
That I wouldn’t tell my Dad.
I’d ride my bike to his place,
Nearly every day.
I thought I was helpin’ out,
But I’s prob’ly in the way.
But Old Bill never seemed to mind,
Though he’d often say to me,
" Boy, you’ll never ‘mount to nothin’
That’s pretty plain to see."
And sometimes he would tell me,
" Boy, I’m busy here today.
I ain’t got time to fool with you,
Just stay out of the way."
But if a couple days went by
And I hadn’t been around,
He’d call to see if I was sick,
And say, "Boy, I thought you’d drowned."
I used to help him on his farm,
Plantin’ corn and balin’ hay.
Cause I knew when the job was done,
I’d be sure to get some pay.
And he’d do things for me,
And course, --I never paid a dime.
He’d just say, "We’ll let it go,
An’ I’ll charge you double next time."
Then I grew to be a man
And I left Old Bill behind.
I never went to see him much,
I just didn’t have the time!
Then Old Bill grew old
And his health was gettin’ bad.
At last they put him in a home
And I thought then, "How sad!"
"I’m goin’ to see Old Bill someday,"
I’d often tell my wife.
" Just to tell him thanks,
For his part in my life."
"Just to chat with him, and visit,
And help him pass a lonely day.
Yea, I’m goin’ by and see Old Bill,
First time I’m out that way!"
And his daughter told my wife,
That he often speaks of me.
Yea, I gotta get by and see Old Bill,
When I get some time that’s free.
Well, I went to see Old Bill today.
At his final resting place.
And as I thought about those years gone by,
The tears streamed down my face!
Yes, I cried a lot of tears today,
But not just cause Bill was dead.
The tears I cried, were tears of shame,
For the things I’d left unsaid.
Oh, why do we, in our busy life,
Just never find the time.
To cheer the heart of some dear friend,
That the years have left behind.
If I ever get the chance
And I hope someday, I will.
I pray, that I’ll be man enough,
To be some boy’s, Old Bill!
Copyright 2010 World's Worst Farmer.: Humorous Speaker. All Rights Reserved
